The spiritual director and pastoral psychologist William Barry relates a story about his dying mother. He says: “When my mother was dying of cancer, she said that she prayed every night that God would take her in her sleep. I asked her what God was like, and she answered, “He’s a lot better than he’s made out to be” (God and You: Prayer as a Personal Relationship, p.16).
We can get an idea of who God is from reading, discussions, sermons, TV evangelists, or people who use God to justify their own personal cause. But to really know God, you need to make time to cultivate a relationship and that means prayer is a, if not, the key ingredient. Getting to know God is like getting to know another person. You have to spend meaningful time in their presence to really get to know them. In that conscious relationship there is sharing, especially if that relationship is going to be a deep relationship. I’m pretty sure that all of us have had the experience of being with someone and thinking that we were relating only to realize that the other person was really somewhere else. The sharing, such as it was, was superficial.
Barry’s mother’s comment about what God is like is one that grew out of a lifetime of having spent time with God in prayer. It was a sharing of relationship.
Perhaps another way to put it is to say that it is a sharing of centers. A center is what anchors our lives, that gives stability to our being. What is it that keeps you going? What is it that gives your life meaning? In the midst of this busy, driven world, often chaotic world, how do you keep your balance? What helps you live with integrity in the midst of the confusion and competing siren calls of the world? Whatever it is, it not only affects your understanding of who you are, but also affects your relationship with others, the natural world, and with God.
The tragedy, of course, is that many people don’t really have a clear center. It is undefined, ill-formed, lacking integrity, contentment and peace. And so the chaos within is made worse by the chaos without. And this affects all areas of life and all our relationships.
In one translation of Psalm 131:2, we read: “Enough for me to keep my soul tranquil and quiet like a child in its mother’s arms, as content as a child that has been weaned.” Reflect on that image – a maturing, growing child resting in the arms of its mother. The Psalmist has found peace and rest. He has found his center. The prophet Isaiah reminds us that: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15).
In both of these passages we are reminded that when our center finds its center in God there is a harmony to life. The parts of one’s life seem to fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, revealing a wholeness and a picture that is the heart of each person. That doesn’t mean that there are no more struggles or painful situations with which we need to cope, but that underneath it all and at the center there is a quality of life and relationship that says “all will be well.”
Cultivating that center is a process and it doesn’t simply happen overnight. But it does begin with “showing up”, that is, making time to be present with God who is at the center of all LIFE. Just as we give time to any relationship that is important to us, we give time to this most important and critical of relationships. It will mean a daily and regular time spent in quality prayer. That, of course, is the goal. But the thing about our gracious God is that God is there whenever we show up. But pretty soon, we realize that it isn’t enough to make time for God when we are desperate or needy or have nothing else better to do. As we cultivate that relationship with God and that relationship becomes the center of our life and begins to give order and contentment and peace and stability to every area of life, we will do more than “just show up”. We’ll realize that when we make regular time for God, that that loving use of time is a sign of the level of our centeredness – a centeredness that shapes our lives.
“Come,” my heart says, “Seek his face.” Your face, Lord, do I seek” (Psalm 27;8)
