Whenever I travel I check in with my wife. It is good to hear her voice or read her email. It keeps me connected to the one I love. I would also like to think that it contributes to the health and growth of our relationship.
In the same way we need to check in regularly, actually daily, with God if our relationship is going to grow and remain a healthy one. For many, this happens with their daily devotional time or other times of prayer or reflection. Over the years one of the most common disciplines has been the Examen or Examination of Consciousness. It is pausing at the end of the day to reflect on the events of the day in the presence of God.
One of the chief advocates of this spiritual health tool was Ignatius of Loyola. He encouraged all those who want to grow in their relationship with God and to strengthen their spiritual life to end the day with this awareness exercise. Basically, it means that at the end of the day, this exercise can provide an intentional time to reflect on the day, to give thanks for what may not have been noticed as gift, and to make amends for failures, and to rest, ready to resume the spiritual journey with the new day. It doesn’t have to be long, just intentional.
Marian Cowan, in her book Companions in Grace, suggests that there are five statements that can guide us as we reflect on our day. They are the same statements/questions often used in a good human relationship: “Thank you,” “Help me,””I love you,” “Forgive me,” and “Be with me.”
You can see how these five statements can help us as we exam our day. Thank you – As we look back on our day, we discover things that were sheer gift – an email or a letter from a close friend, health, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a warm or cool day, a relaxing meal with family or friends. It is not enough to say a general “Thank you, God”. It is a time to pause over the particular gifts of the day and offer a heartfelt “Thank You, God for this and that….” Help me – What are your needs? What is it that you desire and need to ask God for? Maybe it is for the certitude that you are loved and a child of God? Maybe it is for growth in your spiritual life? Maybe it is for the healing of memories or a relationship? We name our need as we are aware of it and bring it to God. I love you – How has God been trying to show his love to you throughout the day? If grace is true and God is love, God’s love is always moving out towards us although we don’t always get it. We are too busy, too worried, too preoccupied, too … to notice the evidences of God’s love which are lavished on us each and every day. This is often true in our human relationships as well. Because we are so self-focused, we fail to see the overtures of love and care that come to us from the people around us. But when we are aware of them our response to these offers and expressions of love is love in return. It is expressed in words and actions. Pausing at the end of the day to reflect on God’s love for us and our expression of love for God and also for those around us can bring peace and a deep sense of joy. It can not only help us to sleep but also prepare us to be more aware of the love we are receiving and should be giving as we await the gift of another day. Forgive me – If Jesus were to come to you as you are reflecting on your day and ask you: “For what do you want forgiveness and healing?” what would say? What words, events, actions, thoughts of the day would come to mind? Being impatient? A curt word with a family member or a work colleague? Not bothering to spend time with someone you know is hurting or in need? Wasting time? Spending too much? Eating or drinking too much? As we become aware, we ask for forgiveness and know that God, who loves us and “delights in showing mercy” (Micah 7:18), forgives. Knowing that we are forgiven can also lead us to reflect on ways of making amends for our actions and being more patient and loving with others. Be with me –As we end our time of reflection we ask for the gifts and grace needed in the hours and days to come. In our request for forgiveness, awareness of God’s love, and acknowledgment of our need for healing and wholeness we recognize that we also need God’s presence for the journey. The one who promised that he would never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5; Joshua 1:5) is faithful and we can rest in that faithfulness knowing that the challenges and adventures of the new day are not going to catch God unaware. And because God is with us, we can ask for the patience, the love, the awareness, the grace we need for the new day.
If you haven’t developed the discipline of ending your day with a period of reflection on your day’s journey, may God give you the grace and desire for such a time. It doesn’t have to be long, just intentional.
