A few months back Connie and I and our daughter’s family went to see a circus that had come to town. It was the first live circus that two of our granddaughters had ever seen. Their reaction, especially that of the four year old, reminded me of this story.
A few years ago, a father took his three-year-old daughter, Amy, to her first circus. Before the event her father tried his best to describe the exciting atmosphere of the big top. She asked lots of questions along the way. Would she get to pet the elephant? Could she swing on the trapeze? Would the clowns come and talk to her? The night before, she could hardly sleep. She woke her parents with: "Daddy, Daddy, come on. We can't be late."
As they drove to the circus grounds, Amy's eyes sparkled. When they finally arrived, he had to hold her hand tightly to keep her from running ahead of him. He bought her peanuts and Cracker Jacks before taking their seats in the stands. Amy giggled as her father put the ring in the Cracker Jack box on her finger, pointing out the three rings in the center of the tent.
"When's it going to start, Daddy? When's it going to start?" she asked again and again.
Finally it began.
Amy clapped her hands to the music and squealed with delight as she watched the parade of animals and performers. Her eyes darted back and forth, not knowing which of the three rings to watch.
Suddenly, Amy became very still and quiet.
"What is it, Amy?" my friend asked.
"Daddy," she said, her voice filled with awe, "They did all this just for me."
This is how I often feel when I think about grace and life – “All this for me!” And, like the little girl in the story, I am filled with awe.
It is easy to get jaded or cynical about life. And when that happens, the awe and wonder of life quickly fade.
And we can think of many reasons to get cynical or angry or tired or frustrated or jaded with life. We don’t care for our job, our relationships are less than satisfying, finances are tight, the world seems to be going in directions that stress, worry and frighten us. There seem to be plenty of reasons to lose that awe that once gripped us. And before we know it we have slipped into a weary, hopeless routine. We have lost wonder. We have forgotten grace.
I’m not sure, if, as adults, we will ever see the world the same way a small child sees the circus. We have seen too much, experienced too much, and maybe thought too much. But if we stop and look deep inside we discover that we really want to recover an appreciation for the awesomeness of life.
Occasionally it slips up on us – the kindness of a stranger for no apparent reason, the sacrifice of a parent or friend, a sunset, the wonder of birth, the tender, unconditional love of a lover, etc. And when that happens, we feel something, a sense of awe and wonder at the gift of life. And maybe like the little girl we are moved to silence and realize that the giftedness of life and love are grace and grace is the awareness that “all this is for me.” It is the realization that God is the great gift-giver and that in the midst of all the things happening in my life and around me, there is the awesomeness of Grace.
That is not something that comes easily, but there are hints and intimations of it all through life if we have eyes to see. Maybe that is why Jesus encouraged us so many times to “behold” things. Behold the lilies of the field…behold the birds of the air…behold the bread rising…behold the wine fermenting. Maybe Jesus wants us to learn how to see again with eyes that have been graced.
And when we do, we are reminded that we are loved in our lostness, that we are cared for in our loneliness, that there is hope in our confusion. It reminds us that in the midst of all the smoke and mirrors, false illusions of this world, that the reality of God’s love and grace is a gift that God wants to give each and every one of us in Christ.
Reflect: Have I been amazed or dazzled by God lately? What can get in the way of wonder? What can you do about them? Abraham Heschel once prayed:” I did not ask for success; I asked for wonder. And you gave it to me.” Have you asked God to give you a sense of wonder, awe for the graciousness, the gift of life? Think of someone you know who has a sense of wonder. In what ways does this person give evidence of a sense of wonder?
