The French mathematician, physicist, inventor, writer, and follower of Jesus, Blaise Pascal, once penned a prayer entitled “You Alone”:
Everything that is not you, God,
cannot fulfill my hopes.
God, I seek and desire you yourself.
To you alone, my God, I turn.
You alone could create my soul,
you alone can create it anew.
You alone could stamp it with your image,
you alone can stamp it anew
and impress your countenance on it again,
which is Jesus Christ, my Savior,
who is your image and the sign of your being.
As I reflect on this prayer I find that it challenges me to look at what I really want or desire in life. Amidst the noise, pressure, group compulsions, rivalry, competing “goods”, direct and indirect control by others, and multitudes of things that fill my days and life, I find it hard to really listen in freedom to the real desire of my heart. There are actually many things I desire – health, security, comfort, affection, etc. But as I look at each of those desires, I really find that there are desires beyond those desires. What is the genuine, deep longing in my life?
Now, as a follower of Jesus, I know what it SHOULD be. Jesus makes that very clear in Matthew 6:33 that the desire that is to be pre-eminent in my life is the Kingdom of God/the doing of the will of God. After all that was the focus and deep desire of Jesus’ life. But how do I get there?
Peter van Breemen writes that “The will of God isn’t something strange and terrible that gets laid down on top of us and to which we must blindly bow. On the contrary, it corresponds to our true deepest being.” He further writes: “If we could all realize our most authentic longings, then the kingdom of God would be here.” (The God of Our Deepest Longings, p. 11)
What I think he is trying to say is that if we keep pushing back beyond our stated desires, we find that ultimately they bring us back to the fundamental longing to live out our identity as people created for relationship with God. God wants to see the unfolding and true fulfillment of our person. This is what it means to live authentic lives. This is what it means to “delight” in the Lord. And the Psalmist reminds us: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Why? Because if our delight/joy, pleasure/contentment is in God, our desires align with God’s longings for us.
I find that often I am more delighted in the gifts that God gives rather than delighting in the Giver. My joy is often in what I receive from God more than finding my joy in God. I really would like to be able to say with the prophet Habakkuk (3:17-18):
Though the fig tree does not blossom,
and no fruit is on the vines;
though the produce of the olive fails
and the fields yield no food;
though the flock is cut off from the fold
and there is no herd in the stalls,
yet will I rejoice in the Lord;
I will exult in the God of my salvation.
I have a long way to go, but I am on the journey. First comes joy in God – the gracious, loving God revealed in Jesus. And when I find my joy there, I am free enough to surrender everything. And when I do, I can experience the fulfillment of my deepest longing – a peace that the world cannot give or take away (John 14:27)
