“Learning to Love -- A Christian Imperative"

I have been thinking about all the animosity, mean-spirited criticism, negative attacks and just plain hate that seems to be filling our world. My greatest pain comes from seeing that some of it, maybe too much of it, comes from professed Christians. For many their ideology or political or socially driven agenda has surpassed their commitment to love as Christ has loved us.

 

 

If God is love (1 John 4:8) and human beings are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27), learning to love is a theological imperative. An “imperative” is something essential, vital, crucial, urgent. It is essential for our wholeness as human beings, our existence as followers of Jesus, and it is vital if the world is to really see that the message we seek to share – that God loves all people and has shown that love in Christ-- is real. 

 

 

Learning to love begins with reexamining our understanding and experience of love, especially with regard to God. Even if we are fortunate to be born into a loving and caring family, it’s not too long before our understanding of love gets connected with rewards and favors. As we grow, we pick up the subtle messages that getting and giving love is often based on meeting certain expectations; and if we don’t, love can be withheld. Whether it’s being quiet, performing well in school, getting along with our siblings, etc., we soon learn that love is conditional. Maybe we even came to see God’s love like that. God doesn’t love us unless we live up to certain standards and perform in certain ways. And as we grow older, this is the kind of love we learn how to give, both to God and others -- love as an effort to cultivate acceptance, receive favor, and even manipulate others for our own purposes. And if we didn’t get what we wanted, love could be abandoned or withheld until we did. As a pastor I have seen this in families and in relationships between husbands and wives. 

 

 

But that’s not real love. In the Hebrew Bible, a word used to describe God’s love is hesed.  It is steadfast love, resilient love, a determined love. It is not based on feelings or convenience. It is a relational love grounded in God’s unrelenting, unconditional love for us as people created in God’s image and loved with a cross-like love seen in Jesus. This is the kind of love that those who claim to be related to God are intended to have. If we only love God and others for what we gain from the relationship, we are not loving them. We are just using the relationship for our own gain. This is exploitation, not love. 

 

 

Now, the reality is that all of our love as human beings is tainted by selfishness and self-interest. That’s who we are as a result of our current condition. But we can LEARN to love as God loves. But our ability to love as God loves depends completely on our first knowing God’s life-altering love for us. Without that experience we don’t know what pure love is. And as we come to understand and experience this  unconditional, unlimited love it begins to change us, or should. God’s love is a healing and transforming love. If we allow it, it can begin to heal our own inner wounds and fears, and as we are changed so is the way we see our world and react to the people in it. It makes it possible to become more compassionate, empathetic, patient, understanding. 

 

 

“Possible”, but not always easy. When people hurt us or we face things that rub us the wrong way or threaten our circumstances or values, the first reaction, the natural reaction is to retaliate or to leave or shut down. It is a reaction based on feelings--hate, fear, anger, insecurity, indifference. But if we understand and have experienced God’s love for us, we come to realize that love for others is an attitude, it is a choice.  I don’t think God’s love for us is one that causes God to go weak in the knees, feel queasy in the stomach, or get all gushy or sentimental. I’m not denying the place of emotion, but I don’t think that biblical love (agape) is essentially or primarily emotional, it is an attitude or a disposition. It is wanting the best for the other. It is intentional. It is a choice we make. But that choice, intention, attitude needs to be cultivated and it only develops as we grow in our experience of God’s love and we see what that love looks like in the life of Jesus. It will never be perfect in this life, but we all know of people who have shown growth in that kind of love in their lives. Many of us have been on the receiving end of that love. And as we grow like Christ, love becomes the guiding principle in our response to all people, both in word and deed. And the interesting thing is that as people around us are touched by this love, their attitudes and actions towards us are often transformed. And if they aren’t, we don’t stop loving them. Because God is love and we are children of God.  I wonder how learning to love would change your world, our world?