Recently I came across this story related by a physician. “One day, already far behind schedule, I brought a family in for a first visit. The signs were ominous: they brought voluminous records, having seen my kind before and “endured much under many physicians.” I read the records they had brought, looked at the x-rays and the child, and tried not to show the sinking feeling I had. Another desperate family searching for something I could not provide. My predecessors’ conclusions were undeniably correct. I had nothing to add. To tell them this today would take time I didn’t have. “God, help me” – my commonest workday prayer. “How can I help you?” I asked. “Give us a different diagnosis.” “I can’t do that,” I said. “Then listen to our story.” Suddenly it was clear. Doctors had examined their child, run many tests, said much to them—but no one had listened. I stopped and I listened. Nothing changed for them that day; not their child, not the diagnosis, not their future. Yet it was a marvel, because for a moment we had beaten back the darkness that engulfed them by being present for one another.”
“…for a moment we had beaten back the darkness that engulfed them by being present for one another.” I like that phrase – “beating back the darkness”. But even more, I am reminded how important it is to listen and really be present with someone. It is sad that in spite of how wired we are in today’s world, it is really easy not to listen, to really listen. When I am really present with someone, listening to their story, it says that I value them, that I recognize their importance, I recognize that they are. Theologically, it means that I recognize that they are created in the image of God and loved by God. We may not be able to change the situation, as in this case, but we can ‘beat back the darkness” at that moment for that person and in so doing it can bring hope. Often the hope begins with the knowledge that others are present with us and we are not alone. This can lead to a growing understanding that God is also present with us and that because he is, our hope is not pointless or ineffective. We are not blind to the pain and brokenness of our world, but our experience of God, of the one who really listens to us – our cries, our complaints, our laughter, our praise – beats back the darkness and gives us hope and a presence. Brennan Manning reminds us that: “In every encounter we either give life or we drain it. There is no neutral exchange.” I hope that today you have encountered someone who really listened to you and that in turn you will do the same. Blessings.
